Marketing Predictions for 2016

We’ve analyzed the stars, consulted Nostradamus, and prayed at the altar of Matt Cutts to come up with these predictions for the biggest marketing trends in 2016.

Buzzfeed and Facebook will finally stop pretending they aren’t the same thing.

After years of pretending that they’re different sites, Buzzfeed and Facebook will finally confess that, yeah, they’re the same thing in 2016.

Our advice: Smart marketers should start preparing for the inevitable unveiling of BuzzFace by loading up on useless clickbait articles now.

buzzface

A dog and/or cat and/or baby will do something cute and go viral.

We’re calling it now: a small animal and/or child or possibly some sort of adorably nightmarish combination of the two will be captured on film doing something cute in 2016.

The resulting video will go viral and spread across the internet, but strangely enough the Youtube comments will still be filled with nothing but incoherent threats of violence.

Our advice: Marketers of the world are encouraged to start stretching now so that they are nice and limber and ready to jump on that bandwagon as quickly as possible.

babicorn

Holograms will be a big deal for, like, two whole days.

Tech companies are going to go crazy explaining why holograms are the future of everything in 2016.

And while I hope there won’t be a David Bowie hologram performing at Coachella, I know there will be.

The resulting media blitz will be enough to convince the general public that holograms could actually be something people start using in their day-to-day lives. For roughly 48 hours.

After which holograms will go the way of Google Glass and mysteriously not be a thing anymore.

Our advice: Stay ahead of the pack by outlining your “Holograms are Dead” blog post now.

buzzfaceholo

 

A major corporation will create a truly memorable Super Bowl commercial only to ruin everything in the following months.

Budweiser or some other company will spend millions of dollars producing a memorable, unique commercial to air during the Super Bowl and then immediately proceed to run the idea into the ground.

Having outsourced the creation of a genuinely moving commercial, the company will waste no time milking it for all its worth once it starts receiving even an inkling of positive attention.

Our advice: Bide your time until the inevitable hashtag appears on Twitter then go to town spamming it with whatever you want.

elmotweet

Marketing job titles will somehow get more annoying.

If you thought “Brand Storyteller” and “Social Media Goddess” were bad, just wait.

2016 will be the year marketers give programmers a run for their money in the stupid job title department.

Our advice: Forget about wizards and ninjas – Game of Thrones is a treasure trove of titles that are simultaneously pretentious and imbecilic.

Khalinkedin

Agree, disagree, or have a sleazy product you want to promote? Join the discussion and leave a comment below.